During holidays, many people fall into the energies of obligation and duty. Because they make choices that they wouldn’t make unless they felt an obligation or duty, it generates the energy of resentment and, sometimes…anger. But, they go through with it anyway – like a martyr. All this swirls up the energy of stress and disappointment related to the self because the person feels there is no out and they can’t figure out how to change the situation. Oh my! That’s a lot of less than joyful energy!
So, what’s at the core of obligation and duty? Why would you choose to do what you don’t want to do? If you dig deep, you’ll find fear. Fear of not being loved. Fear of not being accepted. Fear of being judged harshly. And you say “Well, I want to be loved and accepted and I want to fit in.” Of course you do. But at what cost?
The layering of energies that don’t serve you and the then “burying” of them later is not what helps you to live a happy and joyous life. It’s not what attracts and generates wonderful things to and for you.
So, if you decide to act out of obligation and duty, accept that you are choosing this option and be happy about it. Make the best of it. Or, just say no and accept the consequences. Do you really think people who truly love you will suddenly not love you if you choose to do something unexpected or against what they desire you to do? Do you believe you will be outcast automatically if you honor your own desires? Now, just to be clear, I’m not suggesting that supporting family and family needs is a problematic thing. I’m just suggesting that if you choose it, own it and go forward with in immersed in positive energy.
Where do you allow others to define what you have to do or should do? Why do you allow it? There are many valid reasons to choose to allow pre-set expectations. In fact, they may actually be ones you would develop independently. But, be clear. Know yourself. Know if you are choosing only because someone else wants or expects you to choose in that way. You choose to follow the law because it keeps you out of jail. You choose to go to certain parties because it helps you relate to people at work and get to know them better. You choose to go to a family dinner with all the distant relatives because you get a free meal (or whatever!). You might even find that Uncle Ralph has had some interesting adventures or that Aunt Marge served in the military a long time ago in covert intelligence. Whatever your narrative, make sure (make really sure!) it is positive and it frames the understanding that you are making a positive choice for yourself.
Energy is not all that mysterious. Be guided by how you feel. If what you are about to do makes you feel good and doesn’t hurt others, yea and go for it. But, if you makes you feel a bit queasy or you begin to tense up, re-think your choice. It’s all about energy. Your future and what you are creating for yourself right this minute is all about energy. The more closely yours is aligned with joy and love and peace, the more wonderful things you are creating and attracting into your experience – consciously or subconsciously. Take the first step into conscious creation and become aware of how you feel and why. Shift whatever doesn’t make you happy or at the very least make your choice one you buy into and own and are resolved to make the best of.
Enjoy the holidays. Feel the blessings of having so much good abundance in your life. Know that you choose for you. Choose wisely and your life will blossom like a beautiful flower on a spring morning. Aaaahhh. It feels good, right?
Mahalo (may you be held in the breath of God)… Linda
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